Memoir: My First Year of Motherhood

Our little baby boy turned one year old on January 5th and I cannot believe I have been his mama for one whole year already. It has been the most beautiful journey of a year, watching him grow from being a baby to now, a little toddler. The biggest lesson of them all? Time is fleeting with our little ones… as they say, the days are long but the years are short.

The tiny baby you start the year with and the toddling toddler you end the year with just proves how much changes in a year and just how incredible development is at a young age. That snuggly newborn soon turns into a participating member of your family – making you laugh, playing, learning to walk and talk.

But my son was not the only person to change, the woman I was last year and the woman I am now are two very different people. My priorities have shifted: how I choose to spend my time, the relationships I choose to invest in, the things I find joy in – life is a lot simpler in some ways (the joy of an evening family walk or a family breakfast at the table on a Sunday morning) but also more complex in other ways (like raising a whole human being!)

It was not an easy transition for me and after a very big breakdown a couple of months after having my son, I just decided to embrace it – and everything felt so much easier. My confidence as a mother grew. My bond with my son got stronger. My long days got shorter and turned into “embrace every moment before it’s over” memories.

As his first birthday approached, I couldn’t help but feel like my motherhood journey had come full circle, I replayed the feelings from this time a year ago – scared of what the future held for me the closer I came to birth and motherhood. I remember feeling anxious to meet him but unsure of the experience it would take for him to arrive. Arriving at the hospital and only hours later meeting him and experiencing the rawest moments of my life thus far. It was transformative but only the beginning of the real journey.

Now, here, the other side of the first year looking back and seeing how far I have come and just how much I have learned. Some things are funny and some things serious. All of which are important. Motherhood is always a mix of laughing at yourself, crying too easily, and always being slightly exhausted but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Now, I couldn’t imagine life any other way than having a wild toddler ripping apart my house and then running at top speed to cling to my leg and beg to be picked up. It is the best thing in the world.

Lessons Learned:

1. It really isn’t easy… but the best things aren’t right?
2. Slow Down – This was HUGE for me, I was always a person who went 100 MPH ALL.THE.TIME but my boy has made me take a chill pill and finally slow down and take everything in.
3. Every baby is unique – your baby may hit milestones earlier or later than what those magazines tell you and that is NORMAL.
4. Mama knows best – I learned to never second guess my judgement, to stand up for myself and always advocate for him without feeling guilty.
5. Follow their lead – listen to what your baby is telling you and build your parenting choices around that.
6. Find time for yourself and your partner
7. None of us really know what we are doing… but at least we are wingin’ it together!
8. TAKE ALL THE PHOTOS AND VIDEOS!
9. Sleep deprevation is insane and will make you do weird things like rock a blanket instead of your baby and wake up in the middle of the night frantically searching the covers for your baby that you put back down in the crib hours ago…. 😀
10. This too shall pass… this will get you through the nights the baby is sick, doesn’t sleep. It will get you through the days you feel alone, exhausted and lost.

Words to describe the first year of motherhood?

Laughter

Anxiety

Excitement! Look at what he just did!

Change

Routine

Family bonding

Confidence

Strength

Uncertainty

Patience

Slow

Fast

Way too fast.

The first year of motherhood looks different for each one of us, you won’t have all the answers all the time, every baby is unique so I learned very quickly not to ask and not to compare, to take every bit of advice with a grain of salt and just do what works best for us because we are on this little journey, my little boy. It’s uniquely ours.