My First Mother’s Day As A Stepmom…

(I received a lot of messages on Instagram, Twitter and via email regarding this subject, I tried to make a video in response but I talked FOREVER so this is a Q&A type post for you mamas!)

Q: I was waiting for a Mother’s Day blog post from you (this was a common question!)

I sat down to write this post prior to Mother’s Day with my head full of lofty ideas and supermom encouragement for the mama’s who will be without their stepkids because I myself had already gone through those emotions and cried those tears prior so I knew what other stepmom’s were going through, but things changed the week of… so this post changed a little and I didn’t post a pre-mother’s day support post as planned for that reason.

Going with what I knew..

Growing up when my own parents where co-parenting my mom always had Mother’s Day and my dad always had Father’s Day no matter what the custody arrangement was for that weekend. I went with what I knew and just assumed my stepson would be with his mom on Mother’s Day and that was that… and I cried… and wondered if I would get to see him for dinner at least… or if I could call him maybe?

Shock…

Q: How did you manage to get your son on Mother’s Day? Was it planned?

No, it wasn’t planned at all. The Monday prior to Mother’s Day we were finalizing visitation arrangements (the holiday happened to fall on “our” weekend) and we got confirmation that we were going to have my stepson the whole weekend and take him to school on Monday morning (the usual). (Insert shock, tears, happiness here) I had no idea what to do with myself.

The Day of…

Q: What did you guys do?

Greg and my stepson spoil me most weekends, they LOVE to make me pancakes and coffee in the morning… it is something they bond over in general but this whole weekend I was spoiled and made to feel really special! On Friday they made me dinner when I got home from work, on Saturday I got coffee in bed, on Sunday I got balloons, flowers and cupcakes and a whole bunch of kisses and squeezes.

My stepson has never had an issue or any confusion with my role, he is very comfortable (and aware) that I am his “other” mom and I am highly blessed to have such a strong bond with my boy.

The Emotions…

Q: How did it feel to be able to spend time with him on Mother’s Day?

I never imagined that I would be so emotional to have spent time with my 4 year old on Mother’s Day. I was overwhelmed with pure love. I was spoiled and genuinely acknowledged for my role. I feel honored and blessed to have spent this day with him and we had a blast!

When I first found out, I felt GUILTY… can you believe that? Me, a stepmom feeling guilty my son wasn’t with his bio-mom on Mother’s Day… I immediately called my mom and she gave me some advice and I was able to let go of the guilt and embrace the fact that I was able to spend this day with my favorite little.

The Aftermath…

Q: Will this be a regular thing? Will you see him next year too?

Who knows! But I know that May 12th 2019 will forever be a day imprinted on my heart and in the depths of my soul.

I know that I am never going to stop doing my best just because I might not see him on Mother’s Day next year. I do a lot for my stepson and my family. But I don’t do it for the credit or to see him on Mother’s Day. I do it because it is the right thing to do and out of love. Even though I am a stepmom, I have a significant amount of influence on my stepson. I want him to grow up to become a caring, respectful adult. I know that I am a role model to him. We all have a duty, as adults, as parents, as step parents, as aunts and uncles, to teach children how to became amazing people. Why wouldn’t we want that??

My Mother’s Day Advice To You

You are allowed to feel. You are allowed to feel human. You are allowed to cry and miss them. You are allowed to want to feel acknowledged. You are a mama.

Keep doing what you are doing! Being a Stepmom is the hardest job in the world. I’m convinced of that. We make difficult choices every single day, we choose to love and care for children that aren’t ours, we choose to manage this life with a smile on our face (even when we are angry or sad on the inside). Just remember that what is happening is merely what is happening. How you feel about it is another matter.

P.s. Stepmother’s Day is observed on Sunday, May 19th, 2019. It has been observed the Sunday after Mother’s Day since 2000.

I answered a few of your questions in the post but I left some out for personal reasons and to keep my platform positive. I am always open to chat though so if you want to chat more, email me or DM me, my inboxes are always open!